We are the Turks
by Alan Bates
Summary: The Turks.....in their own words.


SUBJECT SEARCH: Turks/members/profile  
OPENING AUDIO FILE: Shinra files #87690364  
SUBTITLE: we are the Turks  
BEGIN PLAYBACK Y/N  
Y  
BEGINNING PLAYBACK  
ALL STANDARD DISCLAIMERS APPLY  
"Due to both recent promotions out of the Turks as well as fatalities on and off duty, we have been requested by higher to provide a recorded profile off all remaining members for both service record reviews and psychiatric profiling. I am Tseng Xao Chow-li. I currently serve as field leader of the Turks. I have been a Turk for the last eight years. I was first recruited at the tender age of 15. Through toil, hard work and a touch of luck I have quickly risen through the rank structure. Excuse me. I'd like to make something clear. When I said a touch of luck, I meant no offense to the families of the deceased members who had outranked me. For reason both personal and security wise, I decline to provide anymore verbal information at this time. I am now passing the recording microphone to my second in command."  
  
"Huh? What's that for?"  
  
"That would be for you. You are my second in command."  
  
"Really? Wow. Who'd a thunk it? ……hey boss, we can edit this part out later right? I sound like an idiot here…….ah man…..anyway…I'm Reno, pleased at meet ya'. I'm the second guy in charge here, I guess. I've been a Turk for….um……hey Rude! How long's it been?………….well &$#!@ you too buddy! Anyways. I've been a Turk for a while now. My record ain't the best in the world but anybody'll tell ya' I get the job done. You wanna hear a good one?"  
  
"This is a tape. They can't hear you."  
  
"Ah yeah. Anyway, I didn't try out for the Turks. I was one o' them SOLDIER wannabe snot nosed punks. That's the route I wanted way back then anyways. I tried out and made the cut. Fresh street trash standing there next to all of them wannabe's and street trash in formation and my drill Sarge comes up to me and starts yellin in my face. Now the way I was raised, ya' didn't raise you voice to no one 'less you were ready at' raise your first too…"  
  
"that would explain a lot."  
  
"hush"  
  
"so I decked the guy. 110 pound kid punchin' this 300 something mound bull^$##@ and he dropped like a rock. Guess after that they figured I was too dangerous to let loose and too wild to make SOLDIER. That's I'd do better in a field where the rules usually didn't apply anyway. Oh well. Your time Rude. ..Wait! Hold up a second while I still got this thing. For the record I'd like to complain about these suits. Wouldn't fatigues or something be better suited to our line of work…."  
  
"Now's not the time for that Reno."  
  
"heh heh"  
  
"oaky now it's yours."  
  
"What do I say?"  
  
"whatever you want. Just talk about yourself. What do you want people to know about you?"  
  
"Heh. People don't need to know %^@$@! About me. I'm Rude. That's it. That's all they need to know. Any other names or past I had don't exist no more. I got recruited out of the jail and I could probably bench press this couch with all of you sittin' on it. Tha's it."  
  
"Don't you want to say anything more Rude? I know you don't like to talk much but…."  
  
"no."  
  
"Nothing else you want people to know about you?"  
  
"hell people don't care. People can't even tell if I'm a light skinned black guy or a dark tanned white guy. They don't care enough to know."  
  
"I was kinda wondering that myself."  
  
"%#^# You"  
  
"Hey, ease off, buddy."  
  
"AHEM! It's my turn I believe. I'm Elena Josephine O'Hara. I've only been a Turk for a year now but I've already done extensive study on their history. Before I say anything more I want to get the records straight on something. I did not get this position due to either my personnel relationship with Rude…"  
  
"leave me out of this."  
  
"or my blood relationship to my sister Scarlet of eh strategic Weapons development Division. I've qualified as expect of twelve of the thirteen different weapons systems required and have trained extensively in my off hours on others. Unfortunately I was only able to make sharpshooter on the Mako gun, but I know I'll do better next time. My physical fitness score for my age and gender in near top. I've…."  
  
"hey, just thought of something! Scarlets's your sis and you're Elena O'Hara. That means…..BWAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAA. Man , I can't wait till I see her next…oh man that's classic. Ah hah hah hah"  
  
"Don't you dare tell her I told you that!"  
  
"Do it Reno! Do it!"  
  
"oh great NOW you want to talk."  
  
"HAHA HEH HEH heh ha…man that' so rich…"   
  
"Elena back to what you were saying."  
  
"Scarlet hah hah ha O'Hara. Heh heh heh"  
  
"Yeah, that's a good one."  
  
"Do you always have to side with him?"  
  
"heh heh heh"  
  
"hah hah hah"  
  
"Elena?"  
  
"come on cut it out guys! come on!"  
  
"This is Tseng ending the recording……and apologizing for my troops." 


End file.
